On Love

My mother always said that the best advice she ever got from her father was this:

Find a man who will love you more than himself — when it matters.

I saw this realized in a letter my grandfather wrote my grandmother in 1964(?) before he underwent open heart surgery. It was a very risky procedure back then, and he knew he might not survive. He wrote my grandmother a letter, detailing many of the bits and pieces she might need to know if he died, including his life insurance policies, how he thought she should deal with the cars and the house, etc.  And at the end, he said this:

Do not doubt that this is a love letter.

It most certainly was. My grandfather was an infinitely practical man, and in trying to ease the burdens he was afraid he might leave my grandmother if he died, he was doing all he knew to show he loved her.

He survived the operation and lived for another twenty-plus years. We found the letter in my grandmother's papers after she died, 13 years after him.